Society has no clue what God expects out of our marriages.

Good Morning, today I endeavor to forgive quickly, shod my feet with the sandals of peace, and keep strife out of my home! Society has really done a number on what we should expect and do in our marriages. But here's a truth pill, marriage is not romantic movies, happiness everyday, and "he's the one that completes me", marriage is long suffering, forgiveness eveyday, extending grace and allowing God to complete you! His intention is for us to have mercy and grace follow us all the days of our lives, but he also uses things that aren't so great for our good. You may be praying everyday "Lord change him/her", but he may have you in that situation.....to change you! Our marriages will go through changes, some good some bad, but it's a labor of love. Not something you give up on when it's not looking like what society tells you it should be. One may say "well thats great for you, but he cheated on me, I'm not standing for that", or "she continues to do the same things, I'm tired, I know I can find something better!" The word says that forgiveness should be given, 7 times 70 times. Society doesn't tell us this is the expectation in marriage. Do you see billboards expressing forgiveness and grace, or 1 week divorces! So as you look at your marriage look at it in a biblical sense, What God put together let no man put asunder. Your faith should not be in your spouse, but in God! Remember he created the world and he created you, I assure you, through him there is nothing you can't do....even forgiving your husband for leaving the toilet seat up..  again. Stay vigilant....he roams about!

Everything that I place my hands on will prosper!

Good Morning, Today is a new day, God has blessed you with the opportunity to start again! I woke up this morning with a lot of sorrow and regret! I looked around myself and felt that I wasn't living up to my potential, and I began to obsess over everything I had not competed over the weekend.  A small lump in my stomach began to form as I though of all of the work I had to complete in my office! I began to dread going to work .I got on my knees and began to pray, and God softly caressed my heart and gave me the desire to seek his word. So I opened my bible and it fell on this word:

Deuteronomy 30:9-14New International Version (NIV)
9 Then the Lord your God will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your land. The Lord will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your ancestors, 10 if you obey the Lord your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.

I began to repeat, "everything that I place my hands on will prosper",over and over again. I closed my eyes and meditated on his goodness, and when I opened my eyes I felt invincible.....I felt full! We must first understand God's commands and keep them. He will keep his word. Looking at life in the natural can be daunting but remembering his promises will keep us on our path! My word  today declares that God will make me prosperous in all of the works of my hands and no matter what it looks like, I choose to believe that it will be done! Change your way of thinking to be in line with Gods word......and wait for the manifestations of his goodness!! Be Blessed!

Faith Moves Mountains

I am so proud of you guys, I hear your stories and fellowship with so many of you and I know that every day is a battle, but I can't tell you how beautiful it is to see you guys give it all to God! The questions that you ask and the stories that you tell all go back to one thing....changing your mindset. To live a delivered life is to seek and require God in everything that you do! Today I tell you that your bible is your handbook to a successful deliverance to everything that the enemy will have come against you! Can you imagine having Supernatural faith, so powerful that you can look at a dead situation, smell it, see it and feel it and still know that God will raise it up to be everything that you have dreamed of! Live your life as God sees it, If you have a marriage that is in disarray, find a scripture and speak life into your marriage, no matter what you see, believe that God will restore it! Everyday this should be practiced, until you get good enough to never waiver...not even when the world tells you that it is done, Remember what he did with Lazarus, He was dead in the tomb for 4 days, and Jesus said he will rise again! John 11:17. How can this be possible you say, How can you prove that this is true, some people might ask…..it’s through Faith that we know these things to be true, without Faith it is impossible to please God! So today I say practice having Faith, and leave the rest in Gods hands! You will begin to see the impossible happen, prepare for your mountains to move! Be blessed!

Believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them!

I have been in prayer for a long time, and I have yet to see a change in some of the situations. I know that God loves me, but I can’t understand why he keeps me in the same situation. Two Months ago I woke up and read my bible and began to worship the Lord in my Prayer closet! I was filled with confidence that God would do what he said he would do. So when I made it to work, that same situation came against me in the worst way. I felt anxious, and then annoyed, and I began to cry, wondering why God would keep me in the same situation. I made it home that day feeling down, but slowly I began to pray and felt confident again that God would work it out.  The next month, I did my usual but today I believed with all of my heart that he would change my situation, even though I had been praying for the same thing for 3 years straight and no change had come! I sang and glorified God all of the way to work, and out of nowhere the situation had gotten so bad, I didn’t think that I could make it through, but against what I saw, I just prayed and spoke positively about everything. My co-worker ask “Are you on something, this is terrible, you need to do something”,  But I told her, “God would fight my battles”, and I began to work even harder, and I just place my faith in him! When I got home I began to pray and cry and then yell, “God why, do you keep me in this situation, I pray, and I believe and I am kind and I and diligent, why have you not delivered me?’ And then he showed me that, everything that I go through, even though it may look like a failure, has been in preparation to changing my mind set! His word says:

Mark 11:24 Therefore I say unto you, What things so ever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

I meditated on this word and all of my desires, I believed that I had them, no matter how contrary things seem in the natural, I believed them in the spirit!

I lost my keys last week and if I didn’t find them, it would be over $500 in damages to replace them. My family was frantic and I said “We will find them” I made a decision in my heart that God would lead me to the keys.  Last Night I dreamt that they were in the trunk of my car. When I woke up I told my husband, “I found my keys” and he said where, and I said,” not sure, but they are in the car”. My husband went to the car and look throughout the Trunk and he couldn’t find them. My son went through the car, under the seats and he couldn’t find them. I refuse to change my heart, God said that he would lead me to my keys, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the keys where in the car. When I got in the care I open up my glove department……and there they were!

If you believe in something and it still has yet to come to pass don’t give up! Your situation that you endure will make you stronger; every time I went through something tough I came out so much stronger, strong enough to believe in the unbelievable! Wait with expectancy on God! Began to see things in the Spirt, the enemy’s greatest trick is making you believe his truths, but The word is our truth! Speak to your problems with authority!!!! Today is your day to have Faith that God will redeem you, no matter what the situation looks like, believe that you have received it!

Be Blessed

When you begin to feel weak and in fear Remember that God will never forsake you

Every day we will be faced with a decision, Rely on thine own strength, or trust that God will take care of our every need. Make a decision today to rely on God!  This and only this will be your deliverance from fear!

I had a lady call me and say, “ I just don’t understand, I am so scared and frightened right now, I did everything that you said to do, I prayed for my husbands, I ask God to change him, but nothing happened, I am here alone for the holidays, I cannot stomach spending Christmas with my Family broken like this!”  I then said, ”but you are still in fear, You have not given it all over to God.” She then said,” but How can I do that, He’s not helping me with the bills, he’s not doing the things that I tell him to do, and yesterday I followed him and he is still seeing the other woman! It’s not working!”  She began to sob.

 And then I ask her, “What was the outcome of all of the things that you did…on your own?” She sobbed “nothing!”, So I said, “today let’s try something new, I want you to pray to God, and believe that he will change your husband’s heart. If your husband does not return home, I want you to find comfort in your heart and believe that no matter what you see, he is coming home.  Every time that you think of him with the OW, Pray a hedge of protection/thorns around him using these verses;

Hosea 2:6-8New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes;
    I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way.
⁷ She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;
    she will look for them but not find them.
Then she will say,
    ‘I will go back to my husband as at first,
    for then I was better off than now.’
⁸ She has not acknowledged that I was the one
    who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil,
who lavished on her the silver and gold—
    which they used for Baal.

With this prayer, believe in your heart that God will do what his word says that he will do, Every time that the enemy shows you different, you recite this verse until it is all that you see when you think of the OW. This war is won in our minds, we have to grab ahold of our negative thoughts and hold them captive!”  She was quiet and began to pray softly, she then said “Satin get the beneath my feet!”  I knew at that moment that God had given her his strength!

When you begin to feel weak and in fear Remember that God will never forsake you!

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. Deut. 31:6

The enemy takes pleasure in confusing us with fear, but do not be moved, he is already defeated,  All you have to do is believe, and trust in God, he will do the rest!  After I spoke with this lady I began to reflect on my life and see how the enemy tries to keep us busy with the small stuff, because he knows that God’s goodness will prevail! I had to continue to bury that in my heart, My Father Loves me and he will never forsake me! Trust and believe this in everything you do . This thought will take away your fear! I pray for goodness for you all as we go through the holidays!

Love Dare: Day 2 How I was transformed by My act of kindness.

Good Morning last week we started the love dare on  Restoring and preserving your marriage on Facebook, and I wanted to bring itto my blog to give testimony to how each of these days have change me and my marriage. So todays dare:

Day 2

Love is kind

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.  Ephesians 4:32

Today’s Dare 

In addition to saying nothing
negative to your spouse again today,
do at least one unexpected gesture
as an act of kindness.  

What is desirable in a man is his kindness. (Proverbs 19:22)

Being kind should never be something that we have to remind ourselves to do, but as husband and wife we get so familiar and use to one another that we just become too selfish to show the extra effort of kindness. Steve and I are no different, we definitely take one another for granted, so this was such a refreshing dare!

Here is what I did. I know how much my husband loves the Bolthouse drinks, I grabbed a bottle from Publix and when he got home, I strolled into his office and gave him the high protien blended coffee. His eyes lit up and he said "Honey, I was just thinking about one of these, how did you know?" I just smiled and kissed him on his cheek! As I walked away, I began to realize that today's dare was not for my Husband but for me. I felt so wonderful inside, his smile gave me goosebumps because I could see how such a small gesture made his day, and having a tender-heart filled with forgiveness and kindness like my father has given me more peace than I have ever had! Needless to say I got cute little kisses all day! God says that goodnes and mercy will follow us all the days of our lives. Your obedience and acknowledgment of his words entitles you to this truth! Today as you decide on the act of kindness you will do for your spouse, remember to do this for your growth! Don't worry about their reaction or if they will like it, but indulge in the act! Be Transformed...through your own act of kindness.

For more on today's dare check out K-Love KLove Love dare day 2

God, I can’t do this anymore, my husband refuses to change!

Can I do this for another 15 years? I can’t, I thought as I began to sob desperately in my hand, God You promised me, you said that If I pray to you and believe that what I prayed for, will come to pass before it has come into fruition, then whatever I ask, I will have!  I have begged you for a change in my husband. Why are we arguing about the same things Lord, it’s like a record with a scratch in it, set on a song that you hate, playing over and over again on the same words, sounding like this, “You are my love….skip, you are my love….skip, you are my love……skip”.

I felt so alone at that moment and began to think of all of the arguments Stephen, my husband and I were having all week. With each argument, it weekend my trust in our relationship. Our communication skills were so poor that I could clearly tell him, hey the sky is blue and he would clearly hear me say that the sky was red, and from there I would began to explain how I said it was blue and he would argue back and say, no you said it was red. He slowly begins to speak Greek and I Spanish, turning the argument into a peanuts cartoon, when the adults talk in a Wa, Wa,Waaaaa. God you promised me that this would change. I pray over my husband every day, even fasting and believing that you will remove his heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. Lord I have prayed that you will give him the heart to seek and require you earnestly with everything that he does, understanding that you hold all knowledge!  Lord you said that you would cause the scales to fall from his eyes so that he can see your truths. But God nothing has changed, in fact it’s gotten worse. Every day I try to get him to change by telling him what your word says, I keep trying to get him to understand your ways, I even talked to him until I was blue in the face about you purpose for his life. But God he doesn’t listen, I just can’t anymore, I give up! As I prayed my eyes were shut so tight that as I opened them the light hurt coming in. I looked around my room and the still silence made me angry, because I expected God to be sitting on my bed to discuss, what a failure my husband was and God and I would sit around like girlfriends discussing how we could make my husband just like I wanted him. But God was not there he gave me the silent treatment. Feeling determined, I decided to open up my bible to get courage for the remaining of my day, Steve had just stormed out as we argued about our poor communication.  I mean, it made sense at the time, “ hey go talk to your husband about his poor communication skills, because when we communicate things always work out”, I thought sarcastically as I thumbed through the bible.

And he said to me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9, and finally God began to speak to me. I slowly wept as I felt his arms  surround me, all of the strength I mustered up every day to make a change in my husband was gone, I was so week that as I exhaled all of the tension I held was released. He softly whispered in my ear, “now that you are done, its time you to trust in me, and let me create the change.” I began to chuckle, it was like a cackle of a wicked witch, and then I said God, “so you expect me to wait on my husband to change. Lord its been 15 years, let me move on, so I can get my groove back, before I am old and unable to….find my groove. I mean, really God, this man will never change, he refuses to even be accountable for his role in our arguments, If he doesn’t even believe that he is wrong, how can there ever be change?” There was silence, nothing more was said. I desperately began to search the bible more for answers, at that moment I pondered life without my husband. Although we were at a point that we were not connecting, my heart ached as I thought of a moment without him, and then God spoke again, “you know that whatever the enemy throws your way, I will take those things and turn them around for your good, if you trust in that your will see my plan, my plan is for goodness and mercy to follow you all the days of your life!” my heart began to beat fast as I buried that word in my heart. I began to meditate over that word. 

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever, Psalm 23:6. I prided myself on my obedience to the lord, my prayer life, and the fact that he softened my heart to his word. I was led and guided by the Holy Spirit, my relationship was solid with him, so I found peace in this scripture. But then God’s next word to me shook me to my core, “my child you know that you are the one that needs to change!”

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 1 Peter 3:3

“You have tried so desperately to move your husband with your words that you have pushed him further away. Change him through your behavior” God whispered softly to my soul. “From now on you are to speak those things that are not as though they were, cast down all bad thoughts of your husband, and when he does something that displeases you, bring it to me in Prayer, and trust in your heart that a change will occur”. Peace began to fill my bedroom and I stood up and began to praise God and glorify him. 

When Steve came home I fixed his dinner and apologized, he smiled and said ok. One of my biggest pet peeves about my husband is that he never tells me that the dinner was good, and I always have to ask. Fixing dinner is one of my  love languages so watching him enjoy the meal, or hearing how good the meal was give me complete and utter satisfaction, unfortunately my husband refuse to remember to say it! 

When he finished dinner, he took his plate put it in the sink, and left the room. I began to pray and said,  ”Lord, I made this dinner for you!”, I gave it to God and forgave my husband and moved on! Wow that felt great, I didn’t pout, I didn’t get angry and didn’t let it bother me, because through the grace of God I knew the food was great. I began to do this with every petty issue we had, even when my Husband was rude to me. I didn’t nag him about it or even discuss it, I gave it to God, and forgave my husband. 

I began to see such a change in Stephen, when he came home I got so many kisses, He always complemented my meals and he began to extend grace to me so that when we communicated he actually heard what I said, and not what he thought I said. God Has shown me that there will be times that we will need to discuss the hard things, but if we come to him in prayer God will soften our hearts to hear one another. Trust in God with all of your heart and do not rely on your own understanding, He will work it out!